My God it's been a long time! Ian in the Pitcairn's


So, I've just been reminded that I've been using this Internet thing for so long some of my original posts are on parchment and kept in fusty archives. You will know of course that parchment was actually invented after an order by a King of a city called Pergamon. He did so because the Egyptians wanted to control the worlds information as they controlled the production of Papyrus, until then the only portable thing you could write / scribe on. Shades of an early SOPA law there, but as if it hasn't always been about information and the masses. No change here.. Nothing to see, keep stupid, keep poor and we will keep rich.

So what have I been doing? All sorts but just an update. the deer are still here. my taste in bars clubs has become more eclectic, and I'm getting grey hair.. for Christmas. In fact I'm getting more of it every year from now.

That hasn't dimmed my spirit though. Oh no.. Time for more.

But this post I'm going to dedicate to my mate Ian who I first met in the Stanhope Tavern opposite Gloucester Road Tube station some 22 years ago. A few of you (friends) will know Ian. Yes him, the big hairy Australian with the massive vagrant-alike-beard. That Ian who spends his spare time travelling the world and returning with stories of adventure like a boys own explosion of testosterone and travel stores.

In the old days I used to get a letter or so a year.. then maybe two. Now, with phones and texts and emails we can find out where he is right now, and at 3AM this morning the text came in.

"Wake up mate it said" Are you still slaving to keep the BOE printing funny money? Thought so. I'm on Pitcairn island. Arrived a couple of days ago and all 48 of the islands population met us on the landing dock. just as we arrived the rain hit and we had 6 cm in an hour.. The weather station broke and a mud slide nearlhy wiped us and the tiny town out (check the news) Anyway, I've been staying with Steve Christian the great, great, great, great etc etc grandson of Fletcher Christian and his folks and have spent the last three days shoveling mud and drinking beer. All good. Off to Chile tomorrow and then to the Falklands the next day. Its my Ends of the Empire Mini Tour"

That woke me up. Some people just do things you don't, don't they? But the good thing about that is that they tell you.

Ian says he sent me a post card from the Pitcairn's, but it will be "inshalla" if it gets to me and he's promised to get me a pic of him and Prince William in the Falklands. I did ask him to try not to annoy the Argentinians but his response was "Why, they f*cking lost didn't they?"  Always a diplomat Ian.. And we both know he's been personally responsible for at least 3 proper wars. We don't count skirmishes.

So before you fire up your laptop or order your skinny machiwanko coffee bear in mind that some people still have proper jobs and there are bits of this planet that are being visited just in case you can't make it.

Makes the mortgage and the Quantitative Easing seem really important doesn't it?

Right scotch, Cuban cigar and then bed. I still have my standards you know.

Back soon.

The Gardener.